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I'm someone who's undergone a complete life/self overhaul. I'm now a professional in my dream job, balancing an amazing relationship, a healthy body, a healthy self image, my passions, my family and surrounding myself with good people. It's hard, not gonna lie. But I'm here to help, to inspire and say "you're not alone."

Me, today. 5.1.12. How much of Love is Loneliness?

Today was a great day. Filled with productivity and meetings with great people. I went to the 24hr fitness’s studio (LOVE that it’s open 24/7) at 5 to hopefully squeeze in some samba practice before the classes. Ohhh man, if ever I was nervous for a show, it would be this one. We’ve never had the whole company together to practice the routine that choreography was just finished for 3 days ago, for a show we have to perform in 4 days! Yiiiikkkesss… But it’s ok, all the ladies will pull through and we’ll kick butt. And if we don’t, it doesn’t matter, I still got to dance.

The later portion of the evening was spent in an amazing old house that used to be a country club, complete with basement bowling alley! The time was spent with a dear friend catching up from months apart… the kind of conversation that ends with, “We really need to do this more often.” where we both actually mean it. All in all a wonderful day.

What really got me thinking today though was the gym. After being pulled into a ‘Ghost Ops Bootcamp’ I spilled out onto the open workout area dripping sweat, and feeling pretttyyy nasty. You know how it is ladies, when you just don’t feel sexy, sweaty, smellin like roses still, but ones that have been left out too long… and a guy came up to me and started chatting me up. OK, we can’t assume necessarily that he was hitting on me, BUT it wouldn’t be a bad bet.

The attention was nice, it always is, no matter who you are. But after this unwanted conversation, I looked around a packed gym known to be a “meat market” and thought of how many women out there go on dates because they like the attention and he’s “Kind of cute, in his own way.”


He treats you well and is of course a good person. You’ve spent so many hours alone watching RomComs with Matthew Mcconaughey eating ice cream that it’s a comforting, validating and welcome change. The dates are nice, and comfort grows, love naturally following after some time has passed. And BAM! You’re in it for the long haul, your friend circles have merged, you have your comfortable routines and it would be a mess if you broke up. And you tell yourself, “It’s easier to stick it out, it isn’t that bad – better than being alone at ___ age, a lot of women have it worse…”

Could it be that loneliness gives us the fake rosy colored glasses and that the excitement of him is really the excitement of something new? Could those loneliness glasses be on juuuust long enough to get you involved with someone who you might not have otherwise had as much interest in? Only you can answer that, and make sure you do. And that goes for everyone you choose to give time to, friends, romantic interests anyone. Focus on spending time with people because they are quality people, not because they’re a time filler or someone to do something with.

When considering a person to spend time with make sure it is because of the person they are, not about the ego boost, comfort, or self love replacement you get by being with them. To do that, you must be comfortable being alone. Know that you don’t need someone to love you, but you want someone to. Only then will you be free to love truly and unselfishly.


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