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I'm someone who's undergone a complete life/self overhaul. I'm now a professional in my dream job, balancing an amazing relationship, a healthy body, a healthy self image, my passions, my family and surrounding myself with good people. It's hard, not gonna lie. But I'm here to help, to inspire and say "you're not alone."

Me, today. 5.23.12. Mutant Sriracha-Injecting Machinegun Mosquitoes

After a long work day, I decided on some facial brutality in the form of laser spider vein removal. Ok, yes a little vanity – guilty. But what’s important is that I don’t equate my worth to others or to my self by what I look like. I measure it by the person I am, and as long as that’s in tact, I think a little improvement on the package this soul comes in is a-ok.

Ok, on to facial brutality. I hopped in the car and threw on my favorite Pandora station as I braved 45 minutes of 5 O Clock traffic on a rainy afternoon, to arrive at an unassuming strip mall and door reading BARElaser. I was greeted by a fluffy haired woman who talked to me as if I hadn’t seen her since the 10 year reunion 5 years ago. She directed me to fill out a stack of paperwork until my hand cramp was in full “shake it out” mode. Ushering me into a stark white room centered around a stark white dentist looking chair, I grew a little nervous. The head of fluff told me, “So how it works is, high frequency radio waves are directed through this teeny tiny (for the record not so teeny tiny) needle and inserted into your veins and they will disappear!” “Um, ok… how? what happens?” “Well, the veins basically explode and vaporize.” Oh, yea that’s exactly what I wanted my veins to do, explode and vaporize. Uh huh, this is going to be grrreeeeaaaaat.

The whir of the machine started and I gripped the chair. It did NOT feel like a little mosquito bite as she claimed. Not unless these were mutant Sriracha injecting mosquitoes biting with the rapid furosity of a machine gun. If it’s those mosquitoes then yes, it’s exactly like a mosquito bite.

After the 15 minute explosiony vaporization was through, my face was thoroughly pissed off at me puffing red and blazing hot, forming little red marks all over. Ice pack applied I walked out feeling a little traumatized, mostly pleased with the results and very surprised at how my body adapted – after a minute of the flaming arrow facial target practice the pain subsided to a very tolerable level.

A quick home made duck stock soup (complete with shallots, chicken, carrots and celery) to a sick friend I was on my way to train breakin with a fellow bgirl and teach a newcomer to dance. We all laughed, learned and danced ending our night with happy hearts. I will fall asleep with a smile behind my closed eyes.

Has anyone else done it? Same experience?


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