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I'm someone who's undergone a complete life/self overhaul. I'm now a professional in my dream job, balancing an amazing relationship, a healthy body, a healthy self image, my passions, my family and surrounding myself with good people. It's hard, not gonna lie. But I'm here to help, to inspire and say "you're not alone."

Me, today. 6.12.12. God as the Foundation of Love?

A 6am sun greeted me this morning as I started my day of driving, shaking hands and making business happen. I spoke to the owner and CEO of one of our largest resellers, advising him and his executive team how to incorporate one of our services into their customer offerings. After what felt like a very long, yet productive day, I crammed in a 30 minute workout before painting a large sugar skull on a 5 gallon water jug turning it into a larger than life skeleton frame draped across his cruiser bike for a ‘cradle to grave” themed bike ride. A fine Tuesday night craft, creativity and expression session!

After scrubbing my paint covered hands, I waited at my favorite local coffee shop for a friend to join me for a fireside bonding session over steaming cups of chai. As the flames danced across our faces, so did laughter dance across our lips and warmth in our hearts as we talked about life and relationships.

He is very religious, finding stability and peace when more in tune with his faith. And as we talked about ideals of family and marriage, one of his requirements was a love built on the belief in Christ. Now, I don’t want to get into a debate on beliefs. But I do want to raise the question of placing such contingencies on love and a relationship.English: Religious symbols from the top nine o...

It struck me as odd that he might not consider a woman due to her religious beliefs being different than his own – which is not necessarily a bad thing. One could argue your religious preference and beliefs are along the same lines as belief in a drug free life style as the “right” choice. But where is the line? Should love be contingent on your faith? If love can be contingent on substance abuse, can it not then also be contingent on religious beliefs? What do you think?

I asked him the specific question of what exactly was an acceptable level of dedication to the faith. Church on Sundays in practice to appease? Actual genuine belief but no practice? Belief and Practice? He could not say, but did have religion as a prerequisite. “Strange…” I thought, “It’s a deal breaker, but the terms of what would make or break the deal aren’t set.” Now why would that be? It’s confusing, and can cause some undue drama and possibly pain for he and any potential relationship bound woman.

Too often we only have a general idea of what we want and why – which gets us by for the vast majority of things. And that perhaps is why most marriages end, is because when your lives are that intertwined, a general idea is too broad and it only gets you so far. But in marriage  you’re in it down to the details.

So, take some time for introspection, clearly defining what you need in a relationship and knowing exactly why and how you need it. Because if not, how can you hope to find your true happiness if you don’t know what true happiness is to you?

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