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I'm someone who's undergone a complete life/self overhaul. I'm now a professional in my dream job, balancing an amazing relationship, a healthy body, a healthy self image, my passions, my family and surrounding myself with good people. It's hard, not gonna lie. But I'm here to help, to inspire and say "you're not alone."

Me, today. 7.10.12. Immediate Introspection

I was greeted this morning with the pleasant coo of my kitty pawing at the door, eager to cuddle my face with hers. The day continued as it started, pleasant and filled with sunshine from the inside out.  That is, until I hit a sudden emotional wall. Talking with a friend about my upcoming birthday, there was nothing planned. I suddenly spiraled into a “no one cares about me” mode merely because I had to plan my birthday celebration. After some venting to a close friend, I took a step back and went through my introspection process:

1. What am I feeling? I feel unappreciated. I had, only 2 days prior planned a big surprise birthday party for a close friend, and here is mine and no plans unless I make them myself.

2. Why am I feeling this way? Because I have just equated the lack of planning my birthday to a lack of caring on my friends’ part – a very unfair judgement. I am a person that shows love to those around me by acts of service, such as the surprise party, and I do need to be shown something in the same realm – it’s how I receive love as well.

3. What am I using as a basis of comparison? I’m comparing to the surprise birthday 5 course meal I did.

4. What can I change first about myself? and am I justified in feeling upset? Well, I can change my appreciation. I realize that by taking this one incident and using it to base my friends’ caring for me, I was not appreciating the ways that they do care for me. Just because they didn’t throw me a party, or make any plans, doesn’t mean they don’t show they care in another way – I’m being unappreciative. No, I am not justified in feeling this way. Birthdays don’t mean the same to everyone, and even so, people don’t express that importance the same way.

5. Ok, feeling better. I’ve just talked myself out of some self inflicted crazy.

Take a couple lessons from me – friends are relationships too. In much the same way that you need to learn how your significant other loves and needs to be loved, your friends have specific ways they need to be shown love, and ways that they show you. It’s not always the same.  And stopping and doing some introspection, thinking of what you’ve done “wrong” first will save you a world of drama, eliminating stress and helping you be a happier person with better relationships. Introspection, being self aware enough to know what you feel and why you feel it, can resolve most of your issues. It certainly did for me today. Also, being able to quickly process feelings, not letting them linger or fester, is key to mentally freeing yourself of stress.

I later went back to my friend and apologized for being unappreciative of the way she shows she cares, hoping I didn’t offend her. Luckily I hadn’t and I could put that away, move on with my day and continue to be happy.

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